The Curse of the Sports Illustrated Cover

For years now, it has been said that whoever appears on the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine immediately suffers a sub-par performance, a momentous defeat or an injury. It appears that the curse continues. Following her appearance on the February 8, 2010 issue of Sports Illustrated, US ski champion and Olympic gold medal hopeful Lindsey Vonn suffered a deep muscle injury on her leg (her shin), which threatens her ability to participate in the Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. This incident is one in a long list of Sports Illustrated casualties, which include Mo Vaugh and Dwight Evans of the Boston Red Sox, Evel Knievel and Lee Trevino, to name a few.

Although I did not appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated, I, too have fallen victim to a similar curse. Ever since my appearance on the cover of the renowned and esoteric Riches magazine last year, I have run into a period of bad luck: I was laid off from work, followed by flooding in my apartment, harassing phone calls from Texas, neck and shoulder injuries and temporary eviction from my apartment. I also learned that I owe the US government and the state of Massachusetts some money. It just doesn't get any better than this, folks.

Looking back now, I realize that I should not have agreed to be interviewed by the sultry and vixen-like Ayelovde Monet from Riches magazine. I believe she also advised the lovely Erin Andrews to visit a certain hotel out west. I won't go into details on what happened there! But I have learned how to turn a negative into a positive (except when it comes to dollars and cents, of course!). I am rapidly approaching my one-year anniversary of unemployment. Instead of moping about like a Reds Sox fan during a Yankee victory, I have opted to take a more celebratory approach: I will drink champagne and make a toast (Wonder bread) to this occasion. In this day and age where we all celebrate milestones, I think it is quite appropriate for me to do so.